Category Archives: Sex tips

Do Vaginal Orgasms Really Exist?

Do Vaginal Orgasms Really Exist?

By Lissa Rankin

When you think of a sonogram, you probably think of some grainy gray and white image of your baby’s hand waving at you labelled with the caption “Hi Mom!” You probablydon’t think about the clitoris. But a couple of French doctors do (leave it to the French).

Is There Really a G-Spot?

study in Sexual Medicine called “The Clitoral Complex: A Dynamic Sonographic Study” mixes ultrasound, the clitoris, the G-spot, and vaginal orgasms together into a sexy soup I couldn’t resist writing about. Whether or not the G-spot exists remains controversial. One of the questions I answered in my upcoming book What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend is “Does the G-spot really exist?” The answer:

According to the teacher in my Gross Anatomy lab, the answer is no. As we were dissecting the vagina, someone asked, “So where’s the G-Spot, Doc?” My teacher, in his thick Eastern European accent, said, “Zere is no G-Spot in ze human female.” Okay, good to know.

The rest of my medical training pretty much agreed with Professor Von Buzzkill. An expert in the field even told me that every part of the vagina has been examined under the microscope, and there is nothing on the anterior wall of the vagina that looks any different than the rest of the vagina. Therefore, the G-spot does not exist. Period.

However, as is the case with much I learned in medical school, my patients tell me otherwise. Over the years, thousands of patients have sworn that there is a place felt through the anterior wall of the vagina that hits the oh-oh-oh spot –- or, rather, is the spot. I believe in many things I cannot see, so I tend to believe my patients.

Hunting for data to validate their experience, I came across Dr. Beverly Whipple, who famously named the G-spot after German OB/GYN Dr. Ernst Gräfenburg, who described a zone of erogenous feeling on the anterior wall of the vaginal canal. (A friend of hers suggested she name it the “Whipple Tickle,” but out of respect for Whipples everywhere, she vetoed this idea.)  According to Dr. Whipple, the G-spot definitely exists. When I asked her why some in the medical community vehemently deny its existence, she seemed baffled.  She said, “I don’t know. I guess because they can’t see it under a microscope, they think it doesn’t exist. But my career has been about validating what real women experience. And some -- but not all -- definitely experience pleasurable feelings when you stimulate the G-spot area.”

Her belief runs so deep that she went on to conduct hundreds of studies aimed at validating the sexual experiences women relate. For one study in 1981, 400 female volunteers were examined. According to Dr. Whipple, a spot that empirically swells with stimulation was found in each of these women, although she admits that not all women appear to be sensitive to this type of stimulation. 

 So what is the G-spot? Dr. Whipple isn’t sure. As Dr. Von Buzzkill said, no specific anatomic differences can be detected in this area. But she suspects a cluster of blood vessels, nerves, glands (including the “female prostate gland”), and part of of the clitoris may all merge to create a sensitive area that hits the spot.  She believes the female experience more than the microscope, and I tend to agree with her.

Drs. Foldes and Buisson seem to agree with Dr. Whipple, theorizing that the reason some women can have vaginal orgasms is that the anterior wall of the vagina (in the location of the famed G-spot) overlies the root of the clitoris, where the crura (legs) come together. So perhaps the reason that nobody can find an anatomic location for the controversial G-spot is because there’s nothing special about this part of the vagina other than it butts up against a sweet spot of the clitoris.

A Clitoral Anatomy Lesson

First, a bit of anatomy. You may think the clitoris starts and ends as the little nubbin that lies just below the mons pubis (where you pubes are) and just above the urethra (where the pee comes out). But the little hot button you can see (the glans of the clitoris) is just the tip of the sensual iceberg. The clitoris functions like a female version of the penis and is made up of 8,000 nerve endings, all dedicated to your pleasure. (Nice work, Universe!) The clitoris also consists of two crura, little legs that fill up with blood and become erect, much like a penis does.

In the French study, researchers wanted to investigate what happens to the clitoral root and crura and whether these parts of the anatomy could explain the phenomenon of vaginal orgasm. In other words, if vaginal orgasms come from deep clitoral stimulation through the anterior wall of the vagina, why can’t all women have them? What might be going on?

But how do you investigate such a thing? Turns out that the handy dandy ultrasound of fetal fame proves helpful. In the Clitoral Complex study, researchers took five women and did ultrasounds, both at rest and when they were contracting the perineum (a.k.a. doing Kegel exercises). They then asked women to identify the sensitive spot they associated with pleasure. Sure enough, women pointed to the spot on the vagina closest to the clitoral root, where the crura of the clitoris come together.

So What Does This Mean For Vaginal Orgasms?

Well, the jury’s still out. This was a very small study, with only five women, and we need more data. But it suggests that what Dr. Whipple has been saying all along is true, that perhaps it’s not the vagina itself that feels good to women who love their G-spots but the clitoris they’re reaching underneath. Perhaps the “G-spot” defines the place closest to the root of the clitoris, which is overflowing with juicy nerves that hit the spot.

Why does a “vaginal” orgasm feel different than one created by stimulating the glans of the clitoris? Well, the stimulation would be anatomically different. Because the part of the clitoris being stimulated is farther away from the spot of stimulation, it might take longer to build. And it might simply feel different because it may be a different part of the clitoris getting stimulated. Truth is, nobody really knows.

Why Can’t All Women Have Vaginal Orgasms?

So if we all have a clitoris, why can’t we all have vaginal orgasms? Perhaps it’s simply a matter of anatomy. If that clitoral root is too far away from the anterior wall of the vagina, maybe you simply can’t feel it enough to be stimulated. If you’re lucky enough to hit the spot, perhaps it’s because your clitoral root is closer. Every woman is different –- you’re normal if you do have vaginal orgasms, and you’re normal if you don’t.

Don’t Let Anyone Take Away Your Vaginal Orgasms

Regardless of how the science works, I say that if the G-spot works for you, and you’re rocking your vaginal orgasms, own it, baby! Don’t let any study interfere with your pleasure. If you’ve tried and can’t seem to find the spot, don’t worry. You’re so not alone.

When it comes right down to it, orgasms are God’s gift to women (after all, unlike men, we don’t even have to have one in order to procreate. The way I see it, they’re sort of a fortunate freebie!) Whether you get your pleasure from the clitoris or the vagina doesn’t matter outside the realm of academics. Enjoy what you have, honor your body, and leave the science to us nerds.

How about you? Do you have vaginal orgasms? Do you believe it’s all clitoral? Can you tell the difference? Do you care one way or another?

Rooting for your O- O- O!

Dr. Lissa Rankin is an OB/GYN physician, an author, a nationally-represented professional artist, and the founder of Owning Pink, an online community committed to building authentic community and empowering women to get- and keep- their "mojo". Owning Pink is all about owning all the facets of what makes you whole- your health, your sexuality, your spirituality, your creativity, your career, your relationships, the planet, and YOU. Dr. Rankin is currently redefining women’s health at the Owning Pink Center, her practice in Mill Valley, California. She is the author of the forthcoming What's Up Down There? Questions You'd Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend.

Sex tips: How To Please A Woman In Bed

How To Please A Woman In Bed

Written By: Dr. Lissa Rankin
Here’s an article I recently wrote for www.tellinitlikeitis.net about how to make love to a woman. When Lin Burress, the site’s founder, approached me to write this piece, I felt myself blush. After all, I’m a gynaecologist, not a sex-pert.  Wouldn't she be better served by asking some Casanova or, better yet, a lesbian? As the Pink Doctor of Mojo, I’m all about helping women embrace joy and get in touch with their authentic selves. But how to please a woman in bed? Hmmm. My husband and I were just in the bedroom last night, working on making our own sex life a bit more exciting, so I can honestly say I’m no sexual rock star.

However, after thinking about it for a while I realized, to my surprise, that after ten years of working with women and teaching Pink workshops, I guess I have learned a thing or two on the topic. Listen up, partners of ladies: if you’re aiming to satisfy a woman in the sack, we girls beg you, pay attention.

20 Tips For Making a Woman Quiver

  1. Every woman is different.If your super duper signature technique had your last girlfriend hanging from the chandeliers and bellowing out to Mother Mary, good for you. But don’t expect the same thing to work on your new lover.  Our bodies- and needs- vary drastically. One size does not fit all.
  2. A woman’s body is like an old beater car in subzero weather.It takes a while to warm her up.  Don’t expect a warm welcome if you go from zero to sixty straight to her coochie. Foreplay will take you far. Our bodies sometimes need a little coaxing. So often we live completely in our heads. Our minds are spinning with thoughts about work, the kids, and tomorrow’s to-do list. If you help bring us into our bodies by arousing different erogenous zones, like the ears, the lips, the breasts, the inner thigh, the belly button, even the toes, you help remind us that our bodies can offer pleasure if we only inhabit them.
  3. Love her and earn her trust.  For most women, sex and love get all tangled.Not to say there aren’t some Samanthas out there who love to just get it on. But for most of us, we see sex as an expression of love, and if we don’t feel nurtured by you, we may not get all hot and bothered when you want to shake the sheets.  Love her well and earn her trust. Pleasure will likely follow.
  4. Set the mood in the bedroom.  Surprise her with candles, mood music, and a flower on her pillow. Whisper sweet nothings. Don’t serve up silly platitudes, but say what you feel. When we cover our hands with our bellies and try to turn off the light, tell us we’re beautiful, just the way we are. Share how much you care. Romance gets her in the mood and helps her relax.
  5. Know a woman’s anatomy. Need help? Take the Pretty Pink Pussy Tour.
  6. Think sensually, not sexually.  Immerse yourself in the sensory experience of her and find your own timing together.
  7. Give your partner permission to offer feedback, and don’t take it personally.If your partner doesn’t respond to something you’re doing, it doesn’t reflect on your skill as a lover. It just doesn’t work for her unique anatomy and physiology.  If you act dejected every time she offers you feedback, she’s likely to stop trying to help you please her. Accept constructive criticism lovingly.
  8. Fine tune your radar.Even if you invite your partner to offer feedback, she may not feel comfortable talking about sex.  Many of us have been so conditioned to consider sex taboo that we clam up when the subject arises. Learn to read your partner’s subtle signals, and over time, you will discover what pleases her.  Little grunts and moans usually signal YES, and while silence may simply signal shyness, it may also mean that what you’re doing isn’t working for her. Pay attention to body language too. When she moves towards you, it’s a good sign, and if she adjusts her body to a different angle, she might be trying to show you where she wants you to be.
  9. Be gentle and go slow.There’s no race to the finish line here. Remember how sensitive girl parts are. Don’t mash on us (unless we ask you to! We are, after all women. We might change our minds). Start slow, then gently pick up the pace as you go. Don’t start bangin’ us around like you’re trying to get to home base before we’ve even gotten up to bat. You may get sprung in 10 seconds flat, but chances are, we’re still thinking about how little Johnny’s teacher thinks he needs a reading tutor, or whether we’re prepared for that big presentation at work tomorrow.  Be patient with us and our monkey minds.
  10. Do not take it personally if your lover doesn’t orgasm during intercourseSome lucky women get off from the mere thought of intercourse, but the majority of women do not experience orgasm through intercourse alone. If you expend so much energy trying to make her cum while you’re having intercourse, you may miss the rich opportunity to satisfy her in other ways. Sure, try your darnedest to please your woman. But don’t pressure her. Many women will not orgasm during intercourse, even with the most skilled partner.
  11. There may or may not be a G-Spot. While some women swear by the G-Spot and experience vaginal orgasms, most women can only orgasm during intercourse if they’ve figured out a way to directly stimulate the clitoris.  For more about stimulating the G-spot, check out The G-Spot: Fact or Fiction?
  12. Pull out the Kama Sutra.No need to focus all your energy on making her orgasm during intercourse, but why not try?  Check out some books about sexual positions and have fun experimenting. You never know what might hit the spot for your lover. Be creative.
  13. NEVER EVER compare her to another woman.I don’t care what the hell Jane or Sally or Maryanne liked in bed, and neither does your lover. If you think about other women when you’re making love to yours, please- for the love of God- keep your thoughts to yourself.
  14. Most women love oral sex.To a woman, it just doesn’t get much better than this. Soft, wet tongue meets delicate pink pearl? Can you hear us purr? We love it even more if we think you do too. Start gently. Explore the inner thighs, the labia, the opening to the vagina. When her body language indicates that she’s ready, lick, suck, and swirl her clitoris in circles, mixed with up and down motions.  Use your hands to explore the rest of her.
  15. Help your partner out.If you lover prefers to orgasm during intercourse, stimulate her first with oral sex to help sensitize her delicate organs.  Encourage her to explore positions that stimulate her clitoris, such as the woman-on-top position. Use your hands to touch her while you’re having intercourse, or invite her to touch herself. She knows best what feels good, and if you tell her how much it turns you on to see her touch herself, she may feel more comfortable augmenting her own pleasure.
  16. Just because you’re done doesn’t mean she is.If your orgasm is over, don’t assume hers is too.  Maybe she was holding out so she could orgasm during intercourse, but if you cum before she does, no stress. Just finish the job and help her feel as good as you do.
  17. Invite her favorite sex toy into the bedroom.Did you see what happened to Charlotte from Sex and the City when she discovered The Rabbit? Don’t make her go undercover with her vibrator. The sex toys are your friends, not your competition. Let them stimulate both of you, and encourage her to explore.
  18. Get Tantric or explore Taoist sexuality. Want to elevate your lovemaking to a spiritual plane? Check out Tantric or Taoist sexuality.
  19. Remember that sex is meant to be about making love.Don’t get so focused on technique that you forget to connect.  Look deep into her eyes. Caress her lovingly. Tell her how you feel. Hug her. Love her.
  20. Cuddle when it’s over.Please don’t jump up and go watch the game. We make ourselves vulnerable, put ourselves out there, and want to know you’re still with us when it’s over. Snuggle in and stick around a while.

You still there, or has your honey dragged you upstairs? If you still need a few more tips, check out A Pink Guide to Orgasm by Mojo Mentor Dr. Rachel Carlton Abrams.

 

Dr. Lissa Rankin is an OB/GYN physician, an author, a nationally-represented professional artist, and the founder of Owning Pink, an online community committed to building authentic community and empowering women to get- and keep- their "mojo". Owning Pink is all about owning all the facets of what makes you whole- your health, your sexuality, your spirituality, your creativity, your career, your relationships, the planet, and YOU. Dr. Rankin is currently redefining women’s health at the Owning Pink Center, her practice in Mill Valley, California. She is the author of the forthcoming What's Up Down There? Questions You'd Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend.